Xiaohei is gone again

I hope this time it's not for real.

She hasn't been seen since yesterday afternoon.
She didn't come back in the evening for food or drink.
She wasn't back by night.
She wasn't at the door when I opened the door to check at 3.00am.
She isn't at the door meowing this morning when I opened the door.

Is she really gone for good?
If she has just left us on her own accord because she has found a better place or has grown tired of us, I am fine.
If she has left because someone else has adopted her, I am fine.
If she has found a better place to play and wondered off, I am fine.
But if she has been caught by Town Council or someone else, for that matter, then I am very worried for her.
But how am I to know?

It's no use talking to the two men at home because whatever they say doesn't help to alleviate my worries and fears.
They make me feel worse. So I refuse to talk to them about this.
They are attached to Xiaohei too, but they are being practical, which I cannot accept at the height of my heywire emotions.
During Xiaohei's last MIA for the afternoon after Town Council visited, I was terribly worried too and was being 'told off' for getting too attach to the cattie. One say if she is going to be caught, let her be; the other say have already told me not to get too attach.
They are right, I am wrong; but I can't help it too.
WTH! Emotions ain't something you can switch on and off anytime anywhere, especially when you have a 'messed up' brain like mine.
I can't make anyone understand my feelings of why I get so emo over a cat.
She is just a cat, they say.
How do I know? Ask my brain!
Looks like I have to be worried and sad all by myself over this 'stupid' thing.
But I hope I am just worrying over nothing.
I am still waiting for the meow when I open the door.

If she is gone a wondering or at someone else' place, I hope to know where she is so that I can go see her.

If she is caught because of the complaints, then bless those who have directly or indirectly caused her to be captured.
I detest them!

I hope to know what's happened to her, but at the same time, fear to know what's happened to her.

Dear Xiaohei, if you are not coming back here again, know that we love you so much, wherever you are. But I still hope you will be back later, okie?

20 Dec 2008 (7.08am)