Maintaining my sanity at work

I am losing it again.

The situation is such that I have run out of time to do everything that I needed to do, and the whole world is already chasing me for things, or coming to chase me real soon.

How to cope with 2 persons' jobs with no light coming from the end of the tunnel and not even a hope to look for, in terms of making things better? I am on the verge of giving up.

I have started to feel very irritable by some sections within my office (will find a chance to grouse about this particular profession) and have lost my patience and even 'diplomacy' sometimes.

I am threading on time bombs (not one, but many) and I can be blown up into pieces anytime. I can't prioritize which bomb to defuse first because these time bombs are ticking concurrently. I can possibly only choose which bomb(s) I wish to be blown up by.

I am very disappointed that even superiors can't really do much to help. The 'biggest' boss probably don't know, or don't even care, the extend of the problems and implications, as long as the consequences do not float to him. For one, he is probably too 'elite' and high up up there to care about 'earthly' problems. I should consider myself blessed if he doesn't bother me with unnecessary burdens.

The immediate boss has her own stressors and also really can't do much. At times, I also feel not so good to keep grumbling to her.

My colleagues...well, have their own tasks to manage and worry about. One consolation is that I have a new colleague who is giving lots of help to assist some of my tasks.

Sometimes, I think...if the organisation is not interested to help you solve your basic problems, why should we bother to solve theirs? But then, when problem arises, the shit comes back to the 'do-er'. Anyone can give a simple lip service like 'just try your best', 'do what you can', and the likes. Anyway, I thank them for even trying to say these words. It may help relief myself mentally for a while, but nothing concrete.

As problems keep accumulating, I feel more negative about the situation, that solution is on the way to bail me out, anytime soon. Just like what a doctor will tell the family of a comatose patient - it can be a week, a month, a year, 5 years, or even forever.

For anything positive to come, my hope is dead. I am now just trying to cope with what I have to do, everyday, until I bail myself out, which I hope is soon before I become insane.

The only motivation to keep myself going is the bonus payout in January. After that, well, I hope to scram.

Good to yell it out here. Thanks for listening.

Time to feel blue for another week coming again...Sleeping on this day of the week is agonising, waking up the next day is painful. Can anyone sleep on Sundays to wake up on Friday evenings only, every week?

9 Nov 2008 (9.12pm)