The Reality of Stress and Depression

How many of us lead an absolutely stress-free life? I don't think anyone of us do. At one point or another, we are bound to encounter stress. Be it home, work, friends or any other things under the sun.

We have probably heard a lot about stress being a good thing if it is occasional but harmful to our health if it is too intense.

To me, it is not up to us to choose whether stress happens occasionally or frequently, or the intensity of the stress. It has to do a lot with the genetic make-up of a person. Some people has a higher threshold to handle stress - no matter how bad a situation is. There are also people who crash when faced with the minor hiccups of life.

There are limits to how much stress we can withstand before we get blown to pieces. I am now standing at the edge of my threshold and am holding dearly to the life-lines to prevent myself from dropping into the abyss. I am either one whose threshold of stress is lower than others, or the expectations I set for myself is unreasonable. But I feel it is worse with situations that is really beyond your control but the demands keep stacking.

The resulting emotions of managing sustained stress is beyond explanation. It is hard to describe that feeling unless you have encountered it. This is about the second time I have encountered extreme stress (according to my own standard and threshold, of course). The first one led me into a mild depression which had been treated with anti-depressants. This second one hasn't reached that stage, and I am trying very hard not to let it reach that stage. I had managed to handle it quite well, till the latest trigger. Both times, the stressors come from the workplace. Work is just work, but it can cause a stir in your personal life quite badly if it cannot be managed well.

As with stress, depression is also a mood that is difficult to explain to people who has not experienced it. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders states that a depressed mood is often reported as being "depressed, sad, hopeless, or 'down in the dumps'. Well, anyone will have such mood at some time of their lives which they get out of after a while. But for it to become a depression, it has to be sustained mood for a period of time.

For me, the most obvious feeling is a feeling of helplessness and irritation. The fear in your heart is so intense that you feel the heart is going to collapse any time. You can't verbalise such feeling except the show of the 'pain' on your face. I feel sorry for those around me who see me in such a fix, as they really do not know how to comfort me. Trying to make people understand how you are feeling can be also tiring and irritating. The fear is real but it cannot be felt by the next person.

Let me share this. Under such circumstances, please do not comfort the sufferers by saying things like 'don't keep harping on it', 'get over it', 'don't think too much', etc. These are the most unhelpful statements. They tend to make the sufferers more irritated. If I am capable to 'get over it' and 'not think about it', I will not end up in such a situation in the first place! It is not something I want and I cannot control what is happening in my mind.

Back to stress...since it is so harmful to our health, why can't we change our mindset to tackle it more appropriately? Well, I wish I can and I would like to. But as I mentioned, everyone has a threshold. And if it has to do with the chemicals in our brain, then I really can't help it, or rather don't know how to help it.

My threshold is at end of amber now, and I hope it will not reach the 'red alert' stage. It is a fearful thought, especially when you do not know when this will end. Not being able to see an end can keep your stress fuel burning.

Once again, the feeling is scary.

26 Oct 2008 (10.00pm)