Therapeutic Lunches

Have been ultra stressed out lately, so much so that people are asking if I am having depression. Well, not yet, at least to date, but if the situation sustains like it is now indefinitely, I will surely fall into it.

I can't do much to control and contain the situation, so I just have to do some other things to make myself feel slightly better.

Two major changes/activities:

1. Stopped taking my usual private transport in the morning to work. For the past few weeks, I have been taking public transport (ie MRT and bus) with my hubby. It gives me time to 'wake up', see the surrounding, and breathe some fresh air before I step into office.

2. Been going out for lunch. Meaning, really out! Far! I have not been lunching with my usual kakis because I really need to get out for that hour and relax. So, no energy to entertain other people.

Because of the changes, I think I have also spent additional amount of money. Already wasted some on transport (both for the mornings as well as the lunch times I have to take transport). Also need to spend more for lunch. But then again, I take it as therapy fees. You gain some, you lose some.

30 Oct 2008 (10.32pm)

Don't quite understand the high-flyers

Up to now, I still do not understand why some people 'high up there' keep taking on new roles, new responsibilities and new appointments. I understand they are 'up there' for a reason. They are intelligent, they are capable, they are needed by their departments, by their organisations and by the nation. But are they trying to chew more than they can swallow? Do they know that if they can't swallow properly, then people like us will have to answer for their 'indigestion'!

We need their time but time is one thing they seriously lack. We need their advices on some of the critical things (at least to us) but they have much more critical things to attend to. So much so that my 'life and death matters' appear to be just their bread and butter issues.

I do not know how to work in such environment (how I survived for so long in the first place).

The much needed time I managed to secure to discuss some urgent matters is being 'sacrificed' to other people for some much more urgent matters. And if I can't get my work out, who is to blame? Me. And when people chase for things, who get it? Me. And when complains come, who blames me? The person I needed to see in the first place.

Yes, they are in that position, they need the portfolio, they need their CV to be strong, they need other people to look up to them, they may want the status, the authority, the power, the money but second-class citizens like us will suffer the repercussions. But to them, it's probably our incapabilities.

I don't think I can work in such an environment for long. I have been meaning to post this long time ago but thought against it. But I am absolutely frustrated! Enough is enough.

28 Oct 2008 (9.20pm)

Don't know what to think of some professionals

They are one of the smartest among the population in their own specialty. Perhaps their genetic makeup and the brain chemicals, neurons all work differently from the normal human kind, like you and I. Otherwise, how do we explain the vast differences in how we communicate, how we view issues, how we think, etc?

They've got an attitude of their own. They can only communicate and understand their own kind. The rests are like second-class citizens, or rather, their domestic maids.

I do not know how each category of professionals differ from one another because I don't work with every group of them.

The only dilemma I can think of is my feelings towards clinicians (aka doctors). They are the 'saviours' to our illnesses, our lives and the healing hands to our health. That's the perspective from a patient's eyes.

However, working for and with them are quite different things altogether. At worse, they are the cause of our mental breakdown and the partial contributors to the harmful chemicals appearing in our body.

In the healthcare setting, they advise patients to take care of themselves, reduce stress, and how to prevent illnesses. At work, they cause more stress to the workers and make the workers more 'sick', mentally and physically.

To be fair, I must say there are very good clinicians who are at the human-kind level whom I have encountered. But in general, my impressions of them are less positive.

From my previous and current encounters, it is my view that clinicians and adminstrators do not and cannot get along very well, in general. The former seems to want to do things their way, but the latter seems to always hinder them.

I wish to work with the normal beings. Can this be my new year resolution?

27 Oct 2008 (4.35pm)

The Reality of Stress and Depression

How many of us lead an absolutely stress-free life? I don't think anyone of us do. At one point or another, we are bound to encounter stress. Be it home, work, friends or any other things under the sun.

We have probably heard a lot about stress being a good thing if it is occasional but harmful to our health if it is too intense.

To me, it is not up to us to choose whether stress happens occasionally or frequently, or the intensity of the stress. It has to do a lot with the genetic make-up of a person. Some people has a higher threshold to handle stress - no matter how bad a situation is. There are also people who crash when faced with the minor hiccups of life.

There are limits to how much stress we can withstand before we get blown to pieces. I am now standing at the edge of my threshold and am holding dearly to the life-lines to prevent myself from dropping into the abyss. I am either one whose threshold of stress is lower than others, or the expectations I set for myself is unreasonable. But I feel it is worse with situations that is really beyond your control but the demands keep stacking.

The resulting emotions of managing sustained stress is beyond explanation. It is hard to describe that feeling unless you have encountered it. This is about the second time I have encountered extreme stress (according to my own standard and threshold, of course). The first one led me into a mild depression which had been treated with anti-depressants. This second one hasn't reached that stage, and I am trying very hard not to let it reach that stage. I had managed to handle it quite well, till the latest trigger. Both times, the stressors come from the workplace. Work is just work, but it can cause a stir in your personal life quite badly if it cannot be managed well.

As with stress, depression is also a mood that is difficult to explain to people who has not experienced it. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders states that a depressed mood is often reported as being "depressed, sad, hopeless, or 'down in the dumps'. Well, anyone will have such mood at some time of their lives which they get out of after a while. But for it to become a depression, it has to be sustained mood for a period of time.

For me, the most obvious feeling is a feeling of helplessness and irritation. The fear in your heart is so intense that you feel the heart is going to collapse any time. You can't verbalise such feeling except the show of the 'pain' on your face. I feel sorry for those around me who see me in such a fix, as they really do not know how to comfort me. Trying to make people understand how you are feeling can be also tiring and irritating. The fear is real but it cannot be felt by the next person.

Let me share this. Under such circumstances, please do not comfort the sufferers by saying things like 'don't keep harping on it', 'get over it', 'don't think too much', etc. These are the most unhelpful statements. They tend to make the sufferers more irritated. If I am capable to 'get over it' and 'not think about it', I will not end up in such a situation in the first place! It is not something I want and I cannot control what is happening in my mind.

Back to stress...since it is so harmful to our health, why can't we change our mindset to tackle it more appropriately? Well, I wish I can and I would like to. But as I mentioned, everyone has a threshold. And if it has to do with the chemicals in our brain, then I really can't help it, or rather don't know how to help it.

My threshold is at end of amber now, and I hope it will not reach the 'red alert' stage. It is a fearful thought, especially when you do not know when this will end. Not being able to see an end can keep your stress fuel burning.

Once again, the feeling is scary.

26 Oct 2008 (10.00pm)

Cute Cat on Wheel

Had actually wanted to post something more depressing -actually to grumble, but saw this cat during lunch time and decided to publish this instead.Cute hor?

26 Oct 2008 (3.00pm)

A good touching story to remind us about our family

I just read this article posted on the sgclub site by member uyen. So touching that I almost cried. Here it goes.

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After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you." The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much." That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.

When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting." We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy.

My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed. "How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered. A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said:

"I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for y ou and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son." At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU " and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."

25 Oct 2008 (11.34am)

I am not a magician

Be it private or public, be it big or small, organisations nowadays are expecting a lot from their employees. Employees are expected to multi-task and multiple-task, whatever you call it.

What I cannot tolerate is when employees are expected to perform magics. You are expected to do things way out of your control, you are expected to deviate from policies, you are expected to deliver things with super duper speed (better still, no lead time needed)! Come on, how to work like that?

Requestors are never realistic, some even unreasonable. But we are just normal human beings getting a paid job trying to achieve realistic things. My job title is not Magician, or Santa Claus for that matter.

Actually, magic can be performed more easily by the 'ones up there' (I mean the more or most senior people in the organisation). They need no magic wands, but just their mouths, but they are one of those who create the magical problem questions!

I am just a paid worker holding pens and not magic wands. And I don't specialised in magics. And I am not paid a magician's salary.

So, wake up, requestors, and talk like humans, for I can't handle your godly needs and wants. If you want me to do that, wait till I have migrated to heaven!

20 Oct 2008 (9.23pm)

What to do with you, Xiaohei

She's a little sweetie. Most of the neighbours like to play with her when they see her. But why must she poo on the front door of the one neighbour who dislike her (or animals, for that matter)?

Come on, Xiaohei...learn to protect yourself also. Cross the wrong person and you are 'skewed'!

19 Oct 2008 (10.27pm)

Changing the face of my blog

Decided to do away with the orangey template because I have developed an allergy to orange colour lately.

Before I find a template that I really like, I shall settle on this one for now.

If you have nice templates to recommend, please do let me know.

I need a change, Change, CHANGE!

18 Oct 2008 (5.25pm)

Fish Spa @ Limb's Care

Limb's Care, a newly-opened centre for fish spa, foot masssage, pedicure and manicure. I attended the opening ceremony today with free trials and being entertained by the grand lion (and dragon) dance.

Located at 787A Upper Serangoon Road Singapore 534655, you may also make reservation at: 6281 0282

A centre with its focus on one of the most neglected part of our body - the feet. Hey, it's got a nice ambience. The place is divided into 3 sections - the first when you step into the centre (apart from the reception) is the two 'ponds' for fish spa. One containing the smaller-sized fish, which I think should be a little smaller, if not similar size to guppies. The other one contains the bigger fish.

The second section is for foot reflexology (and also back massage). The third part is for manicure and pedicure.

The lights are dimmed and the ambience is simply soothing. A good place to relax the body and the mind.

Here's one of the 'ponds' with the bigger fish. I had wanted to try fish spa a long time ago. I finally had my chance today. The feeling was like....receiving mild electric shocks (kneading feeling) when the fish started 'charging' at your feet the moment they are immersed into the water. It was also ticklish at the beginning. But once you have adapted to the initial tickles, you could actually relax and enjoy the senses that you would still feel at your feet. You would quickly settle down. It was also entertaining to see which part of your feet was most 'delicious' to the hungry ones in the water.

Oh yes, try immersing your hands into the water and the fish will find their way to nibble on them as well!

Today's simply a 'feet exposure' day. You see pairs of legs more than anything else. Hahahaha. Everybody enjoying the little massage.

I wonder what's so delicious about our feet. But in any case, we are different creatures and have different taste buds. I tell you..the sensation is simply...SHIOK!

Getting ready for the lion dance. What a great sight. Eight of them, auspicious numbers.

Officiating the opening of the centre.



So, the fish are actually toothless Turkish spa fish, called "Garra Rufa" and widely known as Doctor Fish. They gently nibble-off the dead skin areas, revealing your smoother and healthier skin. It is a way to exfoliate your feet.

Wonder if we can throw our whole body in there for a thorough cleansing?

11 Oct 2008 (8.50pm)

卜學亮的‘子曰’

一直都很想背和学这首好难的‘歌’。终于让我找到歌词了！
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子曰 - 卜學亮／曾寶儀 曲︰黃舒駿 詞︰武雄／阿亮 編︰鍾興民／屠穎

＊男︰孔子的中心思想是個仁　仁的表現是 己欲立而立人　己欲達而達人 己所不欲　他勿施於人 如以仁為本體　表現在具體的行為上 COME ON EVERYBODY 一起來 對父母為孝　對兄弟為悌　對朋友為信 對國家為忠　對人則有愛心

＃男︰我亮子的中心思想是個WHY　WHY的表現是 搞不懂就問人　搞得懂就答人 沒有人懂　還可以問神 如以WHY為本體　表現在具體的生活上 COME ON EVERYBODY 一起來 要懂得推理　要心存懷疑　要充滿好奇 要鉅細靡遺　要打破砂鍋問到底

＋女︰OH MY GOD 我聽不懂　看不懂　學不懂　都不懂 究竟誰對誰錯　人生多美　愛情多痛 PLEASE, TELL ME PLEASE 生命有太多疑惑 HELP ME HELP ME BABE

女︰OH 不要叫我自己去摸索

男︰有了車子　想要房子　有了妻子 想要馬子　有了銀子　想要位子 有了位子　拿了架子　搞了圈子 使了性子　鐵了膽子　忘了老子 什麼原因　誰人會知

男︰先管面子　再管裡子　先填肚子 再補腦子　先端架子　再Ａ銀子 先兜圈子　再想點子　先捅簍子 再找路子　先出亂子　再閃條子 這款人生　敢有未來

男︰搞棟房子　搞一輩子　停個車子 一推單子　挑個擔子　叫破嗓子 凡夫俗子　沒有法子　捲起袖子 邁開步子　半個傻子　一條漢子 何必怨嘆　這個時代

男︰撇撇輪子　串串門子　上上館子 補補身子　碰碰釘子　找找樂子 想想法子　混混日子　照照鏡子 刮刮鬍子　打打拍子　哼哼曲子 阮嘛共款　逍遙自在 重唱　

＋ 女︰OH 讓我知道如何去選擇 男︰一間屋子　兩床被子　三面窗子 四張椅子　收起爪子　拉開帘子 嗑嗑瓜子　想想點子　打著拍子 唱著曲子　兩把刷子　好過日子 輕輕鬆鬆　笑咳咳

男︰先打底子　再擺攤仔　先看例子 再拿耗子　先照鏡子　再講面子 先插旗子　再給樣子　不管漢子 還是鬼子　不管老子　還是小子 腳踏實地　才有未來

男︰孔子孟子　老子莊子　男子女子 黑子白子　遊子浪子　胖子瘦子 正人君子　樑上君子　天王老子 毛頭小子　天之驕子　孤臣孽子 大家共款　攏是人才

男︰不當俗子　不做判子　不幹頭子 不當痞子　不充胖子　不裝樣子 不耍性子　不搞圈子　不扣帽子 不抬轎子　不賣關子　不碰釘子 歡樂人生　逍遙自在

重唱　＋

女︰OH 我只想要簡單的快樂

重唱　＊,＃


6 Oct 2008 （8.30pm)

Sleeping Kitties

Seeing cats sleeping is one of the happiest moments for me. From the way some cats sleep, one can sense they are very comfortable with their surrounding and the people around them. I couldn't help but take pics of their zzz-ing moments, especially when they are in funny positions. Most of the pictures below were taken by my hubby when he saw sleeping cats because he knows I will be in an excitement mode whenever I see these pictures.

No eye see. I am so comfortable on this 'bed'.

Seek comfort on a carton box.

Look how relax this cat was! All stretched out.

This was my Xiaohei sleeping. She was so deeply asleep that she did not hear me open the door to snap. Usually, a slightest sound will wake her up.

Xiao zhu zhu asleeping on step of staircase. She is a noisy kitty!

Sleepy one. Just needed a doze...

My latest addition. Cute hor?

I am also in a sleeping mode when I see them snoozing off....

5 Oct 2008 (1.08pm)

工作不离屎 Why Why Why?

最近可能压力太大，工作太忙，搞得自己脾气又不好，头也老是疼。在上班时，更觉得自己的耐兴越来越薄，心理负担特别重。这种感觉是特别可怕的。一会儿决得自己能应付，一会儿决得快疯掉。

不晓得这种感觉什么时候才能平息。

当一个人的双脚都踩在一堆屎里头，真的很难想象须要用什么方法或要多久才能把这堆屎抹掉。接着是如何把双脚洗得干净,把臭味去掉。我现在就像跌在屎堆里，而周围的人也同样的困在被屎污染的环境里，谁也帮不了谁。

有时想把自己从屎堆里抽出来，拿个小假让自己休息一下下。但却发现，工作难，在家想着工作也一样难。

在这时候，最想做的就是在个无人的地方望着天，歇歇脑袋。就象这样：

picture by moosexybeast （from Photobucket)

3 Oct 2008 (3.05pm)

Forgive and Forget

We always hear people say 'I can forgive but I can't forget'.

The ideal would be to forget so that we won't even need to think about forgiving! Yah?

1 Oct 2008 (4.50pm)