Worries, worries everywhere

I worry about a lot of things under the sun.

At work, I worry about things I have no answer to and do not know which ‘wise man’ to approach. To add on to the frustrations, questions get piled up much much quicker than answers get uncovered. Where are all the ‘wise men’ when I need them to be around. Questions drop from the sky, answers get locked up in safe!

I worry about things not being completed on time. I worry about delaying people. I worry about the equally important and urgent things that fall on my lap. I feel like a debtor getting numerous reminders from my banker to repay my debt or face bankruptcy! If everything is urgent, then it may be better off for me to kill myself and be incarnated as a ‘thousand hands’ creature.

I worry about not catching bosses on time or catching them at the wrong time! This potentially affects my other worries above.

What I wonder about is this – the few companies that I have worked for are not new organizations. They are established organizations. But why is it that things are still not in place? What happened to the past 10 years, 20 years, 50 years, 100 years? Do the same problems surface over and over again? If so, why?

What is the concept of work? Did or does god meant work to be this way? No one knows. What I do know is that this has to do with the composition of human characteristics and personalities at work! Workplace is probably a good place to study the ‘outcome’ of different personalities put together. It’s a web, it’s a cycle, it’s very complicated.

I once met a boss to consult him on some matters and shared with him my worries. He said: “Why worry about Step 6 and 7 when we are at Step 1 and 2?” Ok, point taken. Second time, about another matter, he commented: “We worry about this and worry about that, but the problem is still here. So, how do we resolve this?” Ok, another point taken.

Outside work, I worry about the health of my loved ones, I worry that I do not have enough time for myself. I worry about being tired all the time (actually more frustrating than worry). I worry about not having enough time for socializing. I worry about losing all my friends. I worry about being insensitive to others’ feelings. I worry about being viewed as not a good individual. I worry about expressing my true feelings for fear of consequences I do not want to face or need not face, otherwise. I worry about the suppression which will make me a potential cancer, cardio and/or mental patient!

How will I ever get rid of worrying unnecessarily?

I want to be a ‘warrior’, not ‘worrier’!

11 Dec 2007 (8.45pm)