The dust settles roughly..,the heart shattles

Close to three weeks of heart-stopping wait. Negative thoughts. Emotional turmoils. 

And finally, come today....the outcome is confirmed. My HDD is severely damaged and nothing could save all my data, most importantly ALL my photos for the past 10 years. 

Tje morning started topsy turvy after I finally receive the confirmation. Heart-breaking. Tears threatened to fall and by the time I was at work, I realised my eyes were red when I went to the washroom. Colleague asked if I was ok as I seemed out of sort. 

Weeks of trying to prepare myself for this ultimate news didnt help me feel any better.

I have lost my family photos, my pregnancy photos, my little child's baby photos, school photos, whatever that are more than precious to me. Its like part of my memory has been taken from me. The memory I spent so much time organizing, storing and collating.

I started to grieve over the loss.I watsapp my friend, C, and we interacted for over an hour over this. Yes, grieve as much but have to let go. Treasure whats in front  rather to keep holding on to whats over. New memories will come and this loss will be less significant as time passes. Yes, time can lessen the pain.

But, at this point, the loss is real and the pain is sharp. I dont know if I can truly get over this soon but I will try, not forgetting to treasure whats now, and ahead.

😢😢😢