Trying out Chinese Medicine

Just visited a chinese physician today hoping to give me a boost of energy that I seriously need. And that's what I got today - a total of 11 pills and the mixture. Well, I have no issue taking chinese medicine though. Let's hope it helps.

28 Feb 2009 (9.52pm)

Thank you, pal

Thanks Irene for sending a very sweet card with very touching words for encouragement and comfort. And thanks for telling me I am not alone, at least physically.

And thanks for offering me free dinners if I decide to call it quits at work....er....3 meals can or not ah?

And thanks for always letting me know you are here and there and everywhere. :)

28 Feb 2009 (9.30pm)

Study too much spoils the brain?

Top management sees macro, plans strategically, looks far far ahead. That's good.

But what I don't understand is that they will think and plan so much at the high level the BIG picture and will always want to roll plans out fast. Then the people at the bottom will have to struggle and grabble with the details which is a tedious process.

They think of the big picture but have no time with the details (which is understandable) but don't they realise the implementation at the end of the day requires lots of details to be settled and put in place. Before everything is discussed properly, the plan has to get out. I don't know why they have to rush everything.

Things are only thought through at the higher level then they say it's time to implementation and roll out and send the administrators at the lower level to 'die'!

How did organisations (even the big and supposedly prestigious ones) like this survive still? Well, the organisations survive but the 'labourers' didn't. But do the top care? Likely not. It's never their fault and problem, anyway.

It's very tiring to work in such environment.

28 Feb 2009 (9.06am)

Disappointed

Big bosses always wants to see instant results but there are really times when the 'ideal' outcome takes a long time to be achieved.

If they only want to see the ideal without even bothering to know what has improved along the way, then I find that it is meaningless to carry on or even bother to try to improve anymore.

When I joined the organisation, the process was already damn late. So when I started the exercise I had to slowly bring forward the timeline (fyi, one exercise can take up to a year at its worst) each year. At one year, I managed to get it done earlier than previously but of course it wasn't at the ideal state yet. So I was eager to keep earlier timeline for the next year. Alas, then (which was last year) the crazy things started, like my staff resigned, then my colleague resigned, then I have to juggle 2 to 3 persons' jobs at one go, and then I had no time to follow through the exercise and it lagged behind again! Shit.

And when people started complaining, that's the problem the big boss see!!!

I hate it when they ask you about the problem, about what caused the delay, etc and when you try to explain, they have no patience to finish hearing you out and appreciate the difficulties. Instead they will cut you off and try to suggest something (which they think will lessen your stress, which I appreciate) but which does not work in real life!

As much as big boss is frustrated of the problem, I am also sick of this whole thing.

28 Feb 2009 (7.48am)

累了

开始决得非常累了。。。

有好多话说不出口
有好事放不下来
好想哭但已经开始哭不出来
身边有爱但很难交代
唯有自己帮自己解开
什么时候做到我不知道
当下最重要的是找周公聊个痛快
好希望不用回来

26 Feb 2009 (9.49pm)

Taking stock...

Emotions go up and down
Mood goes up and down
Temper goes up and down
Anxiety goes up and up
Frustration does up and up
Stress goes up and up
Energy keeps going down and down
Motivation goes down and down
Brain power goes down and down
Willpower to hang on goes down and down

What do I need? Nothing. Just let me rot and die.

26 Feb 2009 (8.44pm)

Playing with formatting

Got some instructions from friends on text formatting. Mmmm..let me just try:

Strike off
Underline
Italics
Bold
Wonder what font is this?

What else ah?

24 Feb 2009 (11.52am)

Does Chlordiazepoxide help?

Never realise it is very much helpful. This time round, I thought it did help. Or maybe it's just coincidental for that just one time trial last night. Anyway, Dr Dad has 'ordered' the consumption due to my increasing crankiness and 'depressive' state, so just take lor. No harm done.

Take it tonight again. And who says about 1 tablet. I am taking two.

Good night.

23 Feb 2009 (9.31pm)

How long more can I survive at work?

I don't know leh. I seem to be dead already. Praying hard to be 'resurrected' soon soon soon.

Am I a long-term cover ah? Seem to be doing so non-stop, one after another. Wah, I can't do this forever without collapsing. And I meet one funny person after another. I need a normal life back at work. Come on!!

23 Feb 2009 (8.45pm)

How to brighten up

It's a gloomy day. How do I brighten up when I am so deeply ingrained in the negative forces. Where are the positive forces? The devil seems to have taken over the territory from the angels.

How to fight back?

22 Feb 2009 (3.34pm)

The road is quite tough

There are certain things you can share and seek comfort. But there are also instances where you try to share your load but unable to get the consolation you badly need. Not that you are not loved but rather, you are not being understood.

I truly belief that you need someone in the same boat to really undertand your problem, your fears, your worries, your frustrations, your crankiness. Even your loved ones may not fully understand what you are going through if they do not encounter it themselves.

Thus, on this path of mind-war, I think I am all alone. Manage it - for better or for worse.

22 Feb 2009 (2.47pm)

Pampering myself this Saturday

Needed to collect my new specs at Yishun Northpoint, so hubby suggested we had lunch at the Japanese Food Court at Level 3 of the new wing. This is the second time we had lunch. The first time was just last Saturday (which I have not posted the pics).

As I was also very tired and down, I suggested going for dessert at Bakerzin after our lunch so that I can have a dose of chocolate to hopefully lift my spirit.

Decided to try its curry rice - Chicken Asparagus and Fish Cutlet (there were also two slices of sweet potato tempura). It's nice but as usual for Jap curries, not spicy enough. I couldn't finish the whole set though. Was very hungry when I bought it but well, my tummy couldn't take in everything, finally.

Hubby took this rice set, with lots of goodies, apparently. From left to right - Quail eggs wrapped with bacon ( Itried half a piece and it was quite nice), chicken (nice too), fried vegetable (not too bad). The last time was separately bought - hubby refused to tell me what that was and I thought very hard before I got the right answer - it's deep fried chicken skin! No wonder it tasted like KFC (that was the little hint that made me thought of the correct answer). But hey, it's really nice wor!

Here comes our dessert after picking up my specs. Though I was still full with the lunch, I was still craving for the whateverchocolatey items in the store. This piece of cake is called Opera. Tasted nice (it's choc and coffee) but to me, it just chocolate/coffee cake. Wonder how they name these items.

Taking a little break while waiting for our second item!

Stop dreaming...coming soon. Cool style...flora grooming on the head!

Here's our warm chocolate cake!! Topped with vanilla ice cream and chocolate 'juice' flowing out of the cake, yummy. That little piece of thingy below the cake was orange.

The kids' ice cream sandwiched in puffs.

Enjoying their sweetie.

I'll settle mine and you'll settle yours.

Done! Burp!

21 Feb 2009 (10.52pm)

Frustrated with Blogger sometimes

Can someone tell me why is it so hard at times to format text when creating posts! Everything seems so unstable. I don't have a Underline icon which I really don't know where to find. How to do strike-off? Sometimes when you try to centralise just one line, but all the lines above will be centralised. But other times they are ok.

Another irritating thing is that after you thought you had aligned your post nicely and published it, wah lah, the outcome is damn disappointing. Your spacing is gone and leave a big gap in between your pics and the captions!

Is the system stupid or am I stupid? I see some bloggers can do very nice formatting!!!! ARGGGGG.....

18 Feb 2009 (9.04pm)

Our Sunday dessert

Ministry of Food Japanese Cafe at Sembawang Shopping Centre. Attracted to the display, thus decided to go try after our lunch.

While waiting...play with new phone

While waiting..play with games on phone!

This is the oven-baked mochi with red bean paste. Looks nice on the menu but I was quite disappointed. Maybe I didn't know how to appreciate.

Chocolate Sundae!! It's nice. Right below, there was some tasteless jelly which was described to be healthy. Well, they taste...er....tasteless!

Two desserts shared by three, after a proper lunch. Very full!

Enjoying themselves.

18 Feb 2009 (9.00pm)

My Valentine's Day gifts

A sweet card from hubby. He knows I love the cutie rats! Thank you hubby! :)

This rose (looks very real yah?) was given to me by Yanfeng, my colleague. The one who is always 'bullied' by me. Heehee....thankie dearie.

This one? Wah...given to me by Jessie, another colleague. The one who is very good at handicrafts, I thought. She can handmake lots of stuff. The 'flower' was made out of the outline of my palm!! Got a ladybird in there too (chocolate). Thanks Jessie!

These are very simple gifts but are those that I really appreciate, really. Thank you, folks. Love you all!

18 Feb 2009 (8.42pm)

???????

Got lots to say but dunno how to say, and where to start.....

Better go koon...

17 Feb 2009 (9.28pm)

What are the freelance options?

As alternatives to conventional jobs (some are just dreams while some can be further explored):


1. Obtain skills to be a professional pets groomer and set up pet shop
2. Refresh and upgrade piano skills to teach piano
3. Do business on online marketplace
4. Investments
5. Home-based work (wonder what do we have out there)
6. Pick up multimedia developing skills and can do freelance projects
7. Pick up photography skills and be freelance photographer (can be journalistic or events)
8. Improve on baking skills to be 'freelance baker' :)
9. Still thinking and throwing out ideas..........

I will just let myself dream out my lists hopefully some can be worked on and fulfilled.


15 Feb 2009 (9.22pm)

Happy Anniversary

Today's my 4th ROM anniversary. Heh heh heh....

Happy Anniversary to myself and hubby!

15 Feb 2009 (8.57am)

What? Me, long-sightedness?

Decided to go make another pair of specs yesterday (which hubby picked the tab for about $310 - thank you) at Better Vision (Northpoint). Upon checking, the optician noticed that I am showing some signs of long-sightedness! Something I had suspected myself long ago but just hated that it has to be confirmed. :(

The optician said that these days, about 7 out of 10 people in their 30s would have this problem. He advised me not to stare at PCs for too long. After every 30 minutes, direct your eyes to look at somewhere far. Especially at home when lighting tends to be dimmer, should keep moving yours eyes away from the PC screen.

God, aging signs are starting to show up.

15 Feb 2009 (8.56am)

Enjoy your work when you love what you are doing

As I always ask - how many of us can really get the job you want? For me, I have not, to date. And right now, I am very tired, physically and mentally, with my work.

I found out that if you love what you are doing, you will continue to enjoy or at least allow you to last much longer in the same job. If you don't like what you are doing, well, you tend to wear out much faster. So the next best thing is, to leave and go somewhere else to recharge your energy.

I have been very envious of hubby lately. He has changed his department in his present company (to something he is familiar with). I can see his excitement over his work. Yes, of course he feels stress over the demands by his bosses most of the time, he gets frustrated, he gets tired being overloaded, he is sleepy by the time he comes home....but he still talks about his work with excitement. He doesn't mind the extra hours he needs to put in, even as I write now, he is working on his computer, but he doesn't complain. When he talks about his job, he will smile one leh!

That's what I call, do what you love and love what you do, and you can have an enjoyable work life. Unlike me, who feels stress also, gets frustrated also, gets tired, feels sleepy, but the difference is - I fail to find that excitement (or Ohms!) at work. I can still give my best, but it drains me out emotionally. I guess this will go on till the day I realise I really can't take it and won't want to take it anymore. Then, I will have to move myself.

So what makes the difference (at least between my hubby and myself)?

One of the obvious reasons could be individual preferences in their fields of work. He has been in this line previously and knows this is where he can contribute positively. For me, I always think the conventional kind of work is not something I desire. I love things that allow me to move around, use my hands, do not follow routines, definitely not with lots of rules and policies and guidelines to tie me down. To give you an idea, things like photography would be something along that line. But too bad, I did not develop such expertise earlier (though it might not be too late now, IF I have the spare $$$).

My parents had given me the opportunity to learn piano when I was younger. I wasn't very interested then and had a hard time learning. I gave up without completing the full course and did not pick up the skill very well. I wouldn't say I regretted not developing that skill because at that time, I was really not keen in classicals and I really had problem focusing on the score. I would only asked myself now, how nice would it be if my interest was there and would follow through. That was the only pity. Wonder if I can still pick it up now.

I don't think I will ever enjoy the kind of work I am in now (the usual 9 to 5 kind of office work) but I will probably have to stick with it until I manage to find a way out, in terms of finding my love job, or when I die, whichever comes first.

Another reason could be the support you get at work. Hubby has a good partner at work. They do not always agree on things but they can work things out. The big boss has his demands and priorities keep changing, but they slug it out together, with their staff. For me........I shan't say more. For those not in my organisation, leave it at that. For those in my organisation, you should know.

I don't know where I am heading towards. I am just following a zig-zag path with no end in sight. I hate to go on like that for the rest of my life. I need to think of a way out soon.

14 Feb 2009 (10.18pm)

It's Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day to you

Seletar Cat Killer

I read about this yesterday from The New Paper. It's so disgusting. Some 45 cats were mass buried in Seletar! Who could have done such brutal act? The person ought to be slaughtered!


Anyway, at the moment, no one knows who did it but it seems cat activists are pointing finger at a man who has trapped over 300 cats to be put down. My god, I didn't know such a boliao person existed until yesterday. He is retired and has been trapping stray cats since the 1990s, using his own cages and those provided by the Agri-Food and Veterimary Authority (AVA). He claimed he's not the cat killer as accused.


And this stupid guy says that trapping and putting down cats is actually the humane thing to do! What crap! He should be the one to be put to sleep. A jinx to cats! He can still give a whole load of rubbish about his deeds.


What's so different about his way of killing cats and that of another? He is just making use of other people's hands to kill them! The method is different but the intention is the same! CAT KILLER!


Such people ought to have their just retributions. Why must cats be treated this way? Just because humans are bigger and can do whatever you want to them?


Our society doesn't have a strong sense in protecting animals, I thought. See how this guy can openly trap cats, send to a government agency and have them put to sleep....legally! And he can even talk about it so openly and with pride. I can't stand this. I hope the more than 300 cat spirits (at least) will come and haunt him.


I hope the cat killer behind the Seletar case be caught soon. And better still, put to sleep!


Can we be more humane to animals? So what if you are human? You are just lucky to be born human in our society. What have the animals done to you? Are you really any better than them? If you are not, why not consider putting yourself to sleep too!


And what's wrong with our society? I don't know, really.



14 Feb 2009 (10.01am)

My sunflower has grown

I threw a few sunflower seeds (stolen from Muah Chee's food tray) into the soil sometime in Dec 08 or Jan 09, and it has grown to this! I couldn't believe my eyes. Anyway, this was the only one that survived so far. The rest either didn't even make it out of the soil, while others withered before they could grow any bigger. So...that's the example behind the motto "Survival of the Fittest"!

Wonder how big it will grow to. So excited!


13 Feb 2009 (3.33pm)

华健 之 快乐天堂

“告诉你一个神秘的地方

一个孩子们的快乐天堂

跟人间一样的忙碌绕绕

有哭有笑 当然也会有悲伤

我们拥有同样的阳光”

华健 之 这城市有爱

另外一首我非常喜欢的歌。好久没听到了。卡拉OK好象怎么也找不到。

城市真有爱？城市可能有爱，但人呢，就比较难说了。

“把汗水流给这片土地 奉献生命不觉可惜
而我心中期待的 是和你一起努力
前人种树后人继续 辛勤耕耘忘了自己
而我心中期待是和你一起努力

历史记载许多事迹 平凡也能创造奇迹
而我心中期待的 是和你一起努力
我们有著同样多的期许 流著同样热的血液
而我心中期待是和你一起努力

阳光大地铺成了一条金黄色的大道
照著我们闪耀著一片古铜色的骄傲
热情澎湃 这城市有爱
一起拥有的是更高更远的未来
阳光大地铺成了一条金黄色的大道
照著我们闪耀著一片古铜色的骄傲
热情澎湃 这城市有爱
彼此拥有的是我们的未来"

Get ready...Here we go!

华健 之 摆渡人的歌

"有人因为流浪到渡口
有人思念靠不到岸
有人不能忘情于繁华中
有人日复一日赶着同样的梦"

这首。。。就是其中一首我很爱的歌。

华健逊回演唱会（2月7日）Wa Kin Live In Concert

时间过得非常快。原以为距离上一回看周华健演唱会是在去年。其实是两年前的事啦！每一次去看周华健演唱会都会很期待听他那些熟悉的歌也想去感染他的幽默。每回听他唱歌都会有种high的感觉，好想让人也跑上台和他一块唱。

这次也带的数码相机拍了些照片和video clips. 先让您看看照片。一会儿再下载一两段video clips.

I get very inspired whenever I am at Wa Kin's concert. I would fantasize myself standing on the stage like he was and enjoying the performance as much as his audience was enjoying it. I wished I was him and doing what he was doing. Perhaps that's what enjoying your work means. At least, that was the impression I got from watching his shows everytime. But of course, I am sure he works hard for it and a lot of time and effort has to be put in for him to be what he is today.

Anyway, here are some pics (the slightly better ones) which I kept snapping away. We were sitting at the last row and I was trying to zoom to capture the clearest. Not ideal, but better than nothing lah.

Good deal this time. The concert started at about 8pm and ended about 12mn! Wow, couldn't believe we were kept entertained for a good 4 hours.

Busy snapping as we were waiting for Irene and hubby. Thought it was going to rain but thank goodness, it didn't.

Queues started to form but basically still pretty organised.

Here you go! Pretty much filled up isn't it.

华健出场咯！

好喜欢舞台的七彩colours.

Thanks to the big screens on the left and right of the stage and quite frequently, the centre stage. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to see him clearly. Thanks to Irene for the binoculars too.

See the difference between the actual vs the big screen. That's about the best my camera can zoom. Still not too bad right?

The stage is always so simple, yet the orchestra and his vocal beats everything!

Love the outlines with the big Wa Kin. Can find the actual one?

A group of kids in his performance

Performing with his guitar, accompanied by his great orchestra.

Here they are. Very nice musicians. Love the feel and audio effects. Soothing. In my not so good mood state, it did affect my mind positively.

9 Feb 2009 (9.17pm)

Chingay Floats Parade 2009

The Chingay floats 'march past' my place yesterday. I was eagerly waiting for them since 8pm cos notice said they would arrive between 8 to 9pm. But they arrived after 9pm. Wow, the procession was very exciting because seldom do you see your estate so brighten up (very bright) and with such loud music. Heeheee....The traffic police were also very cool while on duty. Mmmm.....I was hopping up and down, running from this side to that side, and I was hoping it wouldn't end so soon. All in all, it was very enjoyable. Nothing beats seeing the real thing right in front of your eyes. On TV, they are not that nice and exciting to look at, just like fireworks.

The floats came in two batches. When the first batch arrived, I was so excited that I forgot to turn my hp camera to night mode, so pictures were not so well taken.

After the first batch left, I thought the night was over. But just as I was about to step into the house, I thought I heard loud music again, so I went out to look. Wow, the second batch came!! And so I continued to snap, snap, snap and here they go:

Residents waiting eagerly for the floats to arrive. I was upstairs waiting.

Heard from dad today (he read from news) that PM was on one of the open top bus along with the floats. But I didn't notice!

Anyway, that's all, folks.

2 Feb 2009 (8.53pm)